January 23, 2003
Subject: Guys from R and D at Bodega Thursday, January 30
How do? Quick note here now that the NFL season has officially ended and I can morph back into a sensitive artist from an armchair QB to impart the knowledge to you all that the Guys from R and D (that would be research and development) will be boiling their beakers and transcribing pertinent data at Bodega on Thursday night. Yours truly will handle most of the atonal bellowing whilst accompanied by fine musicians on a myriad of instruments made of various assundry raw materials that have been smelted and carved into ingenuous shapes and sizes to enable them to fart, honk and twang in relatively melodious harmony. Of particular distinction shall be a mold shattering instrument we have come to call the electric guitar. In concert with an amplifier (which goes past eleven) this remarkable invention can illicit emotions ranging from ecstasy to irritation--sometimes within the scope of a mere span of seconds. I think you will be taken aback. Other than the above stated incident to be there is not much on the radar other than the Bucs dismantling of the Raiders in the Super Bowl yesterday. Just breathe, baby. And Al Davis--the other Vampire of Love--shall now retreat to his tailor and the blood changer that he and Keith Richards share to prepare for yet another assault on the summit. Though I have never seen the show, I think he would be pretty good for the Sopranos. I hear my trusty and arthritic dog, Prime Time, barking so I knwothat means Jake the Snake is here for another day of regional beautification. Prime Time has known him his entire life (and that is 7 to 1 in dog years!) and still barks at him every day like he is a prowler....unless of course Jake has breakfast leftovers. Hope you can make it Thursday. BJanuary 09, 2003
Subject: Bruce's ROAD TRIP
[ The Atlanta Journal-Constitution: 1-9-03 ] Falcons fans not deterred By CARROLL ROGERS Atlanta Journal-Constitution Staff Writer Bruce Yandle began to doubt his decision when his alarm clock went off at 3 a.m. last Saturday morning. The Falcons fan, a 44-year-old husband and father of two, was headed from his home in Auburn, Ala., to Green Bay, Wis., to watch the Packers-Falcons playoff game. He was going alone, without a ticket. Unlike college football, where visiting schools sell tickets to road games, visiting NFL fans are on their own. eBay had wanted $400 a ticket, steep for a house-painter on a budget. Yandle's best option was to scalp, but that was high-risk. This was Lambeau Field, where games had been sold out for 40 years, where season tickets are inherited, not sold. But with Falcons fans dreaming of another Super Bowl berth, this is one of those times when people who don't normally care care, and people who already do take it to extremes. Only the bravest will go to Philadelphia for Saturday night's game against the Eagles in one of the NFL's most hostile environments. Most tickets on the Internet are going for at least $200 a pop, and one package deal offered by US Tours has nearly 40 Atlantans paying $699 apiece for an overnight trip. But risk-takers by nature, they'll go. They can only hope for the kind of adventure Yandle found in Green Bay. The first Packer fan he encountered in the Atlanta airport Saturday was wearing a Brett Favre jersey. Yandle asked if he had any extra tickets. That drew a smirk. It was noon when Yandle drove a rental car up to a scalper outside Lambeau Field. "How much do you want to spend?" the man asked. Yandle said: "$130?" He was told to come back in a half-hour; the scalper would see what he could find. It was eight hours before kickoff and even a scalper didn't have tickets. Yandle wondered how high he would have to go so the trip wouldn't be for naught; $500? That prompted "thoughts of a second mortgage, divorce court and eating dog food until March." Dedicated or stupid? It's not just financial risks die-hard Falcon fans take. They open themselves up to potential embarrassment and disappointment as fans of a historically losing franchise. "When the team is doing well, they say you're dedicated," fan Dave Ingram said. "When they're not doing well, you're stupid." Ingram has gotten his share of both reactions. In traveling from his home in Dayton, Ohio, to all Falcons home games and several on the road, he spends around $10,000 of his $40,000-$45,000 salary on the team each year. He doesn't plan to travel for the playoffs unless maybe the Falcons make the Super Bowl. Other fans run the risk of being confused with members of the Audubon Society. Barbara Sanders, vice president of the "Birdwatchers" fan club, was on a flight to Seattle once with several other members. All were wearing T-shirts with a logo of a falcon and binoculars. Someone asked her what birds they were going to watch. "Falcons and Seahawks," she said in a matter-of-fact tone, not realizing the assumption the asker was making. Sanders was in Green Bay, too. She and eight friends have booked hotel and airfare to Philadelphia but still had no tickets on Thursday morning. The eBay prices were too high for her taste. "I've got a feeling since we've got nonrefundable [plane] tickets, we'll go anyway," Sanders said. The cheapest tickets on eBay were $125, and those were single tickets. David Dietzel wanted two seats together for him and a friend from Greenville, S.C., whom he'll pick up on the 12-hour drive to Philadelphia. He reluctantly paid $200 per ticket, putting him in section 623 of Veterans Stadium, in the teeth of Eagles faithful. "We're going to wear our [Falcons] jerseys and throw caution to the wind," Dietzel said. Dietzel happens to be 6-7, 325 pounds; Cochran is 6-4, 220. Generous Packers fans With 30 minutes to kill outside Lambeau, Yandle looked for a place to park on a side street. Among modest, one-story houses, he pulled into a driveway with a sign that said "Parking $10." He started to back out, thinking it couldn't be right, when a white-haired man waved him back. Jerry Vandermoss introduced himself and offered Yandle something to eat. "What I really need is a ticket," Yandle said. Vandermoss took him next door to meet his neighbor Mark Anderson, whose wife was burned out on Packermania and willing to give up her ticket. "Will face [value] be OK?" Mark Anderson asked. The ticket was worth $73. Yandle gave him $80. When Yandle got to his car following the Falcons' 27-7 victory, he noticed Vandermoss had written "Congratulations" and drawn a frowning face in the snow on the windshield. On his way home the next day, the airline didn't have Yandle registered for his flight. But he was put on standby on another flight and given a first-class seat for the first time in his life. Sipping a bourbon and Coke, he leaned back, closed his eyes, and smiled. No way could he top this with a trip to Philadelphia. Right? But by midweek his brother-in-law was urging him to go. Friday he'll hit the road without a ticket to the Eagles game. This time his brother-in-law will be with him, neither intimidated by the notorious reputation of Eagles fans. "What is that saying, 'Heroes aren't made, they're normal people put in terrible circumstances?'" Yandle said, laughing.December 27, 2002
Subject: R&D Supper Club Dec. 27 and Thanks for the Noise
Friends, Neighbors and Poor Saps Who Just Happen to Be on the Mailing List, Today is Keith Richard's 59th birthday (12-18-02) and if that isn't a sign that it is amazing what the human body can live through then consider this. He has outlived half the Beatles, the guy who is alleged to have begun the jogging craze back in the 70s with the publication of "Running", Jimi Hendrix, Adolf Hitler and that dude who used to hand out at the corner of Highway 14 and Donahue with a bottle of Red Dagger and a Hamm radio. Makes you feel pretty warm inside, huh? Speaking of inner warmth, I wanted to write and thank everyone who attended the Mr. Resistor Noise for Toys at the War Eagle Supper Club last Saturday for making it the biggest financial success we have ever had at this event. We collected $2700 to be put into the Chris Hinds memorial fund as well as a pretty good little pile of toys. according to John Brandt, owner and god-emperor of the venue, the Auburn Fire Department says that this event is always their Toys for Tots biggest contributor. We had a blast playing and my father was there "busting a move" despite pushing his seventh decade on the planet. Makes Keith Richards look like he's still in pull up pants. Also, One Drop showed that they have really been busy since their debut there last year. Their set was really tight and special tip of the lid to Bald Head Fred and his tasty Stratoblasting. We got done about 4:00 AM much to the chagrin of Roger "I am an Incurable Yankee" Lawrenson who showed amazing hand eye coordination getting the house lights up and going one tenth of a micro-second after the last chord was struck and much restraint keeping the firehoses and German Shepherds in the back room and allowing the crowd to disperse themselves. I think last year's deployment of tear gas and locusts kind of put a damper on the Christmas spirit. Continuing on at the Supper Club on December 27--which is a Friday--will be my most recent form of three chord crowd control deployment entitled the Guys from R and D. I realize the students will be out of town and there may be massive tumbleweeds to dodge and the cavernous reaches of the Club sans patrons may negate the need for any reverb settings on the amps but what the heck. It's a scant 15 years till my 59th birthday and something tells me that I won't be filling Turner Field up when that day comes. Word has it Mr. Richards played there this fall. Anyway, we will likely start at 10:30 or so with a little human metronome we call Jay Knorr. At the moment this is all the news to report though I must say that thus far the Sign the Apocalypse is Upon Us/Truth is Stranger Than Fiction/Makes You Say Hmmmm moment of this holiday season was a guy dressed in a Santa Claus suit pummeling a drunk at a local watering hole when the latter insisted on being naughty and not nice. Santa knows these things and it is spelled out in musical verse. My pal and long time co-hort Jake the Snake also informs his kids that if they stay up on Christmas night Santa will put snuff in their eye. I guess it is kind of an Old Testament versus New Testament thing. At any rate. Merry Christmas to everyone and whatever faith or non-faith you practice take a moment to realize it is supposed to be the celebration of a really good thing. What's in your wallet?BDecember 03, 2002
Subject: Mr. Resistor Noise for Toys 12-14-02
As the Gastro Subversion of Thanksgiving Fades into the Rearview.... Sorry for not writing more often Ma but the homework is really piling up and we've been marching day and night to advance on the enemy lines and the sun's my eyes and this is a left hander's glove. Anyway, wanted to pause momentarily in this whirling sea of activity to let it be said that out of his moist and moldy grave Mr. Resistor and the Merry Men will again crawl out to immerse themselves in a vat of WD40 to loosen their collective musical rust and again, as is their wont, rock the proverbial house at the War Eagle Supper Club on December 14 of this 2002nd Year of Our Lord in the (Cruel but) Fair City of Auburn. As ever, a good time, though not guaranteed, is intended and good will and good works will be a trickle down effect. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Noise For Toys experience/experiment it goes thusly. In lieu of the traditional cover charge those in attendance instead shall bring an unwrapped Christmas gift to be presented to the door man, thumb breaker or temporarily out of character functioning alcoholic who is manning the ID inspection and money collecting booth at the entrance. These toys will then likely be turned over to the Auburn Fire Department's Toys for Tots program. In its inaugural year back some time in the 80s when Al Gore was perfecting a concept we would later term the Internet, guys AND girls wore shoulder pads and some of you out there were first being exposed to something you would later term the alphabet, the band had the delusional and ultimately unfortunate idea that we would get a list of addresses from the Dept.of Human Resources and distribute the presents ourselves. It is a long and disturbing story that would best be told by the poor members of the band that actually attempted to implement the plan while us out of towners beat a hasty retreat up I-85 and so forth to join loved ones elsewhere. Suffice to say, this is now left to the experts. In addition, for those of you who cannot find the toy department at Wal Mart or feel attached to many of your old but serviceable dolls and Tonka trucks, you may pay with good old greenbacks. The money will be donated this year to the family of our old and dear friend Chris Hinds who passed away this fall from cancer. in the past we have donated to the East Alabama Food Bank, Project Uplift and the Safehouse Women's Shelter but are more than happy to be able to have a recipient with fairly direct ties to the group's past. Chris attended many a Resistor gig back in the day and we all miss him and want to help his wife and young son in what little way we can. At any rate, if there is such a thing as spirits coming back to mingle amongst the living I am sure Chris will be there--trying to talk the doorman into letting him in free since he is a regular whose patronage probably paid for half of the bar's extension. This coming Saturday (12/7) Leeroi and I will be playing at the Waverly Music Hall in (drum role) Waverly, Alabama with Virgil Otis, Mace Glasscock and a few other acts. Our dog and pony show is referred to as the Guys From R and D and therein I shall attempt to re-arrange those same four chords I learned in high school into yet another drop dropping spectacle of musical stubbornness and pretension. A finer slide player than Mace cannot be found in our area and besides that he is pretty tough in the paint at the local basketball courts as well as a renowned nail driver and thumbnail blackener. Virgil Otis--more commonly known as the band Nicky Band--is a vehicle for Nicky's original tunes and the suave embellishments of one Joseph Nelson-- a founding member of the Golden Knights of Destiny and a patron of Ennis Foods who have served the greater Auburn-Opelika for 32 years. So, I guess that gives everyone a reason to put that .38 back in the drawer and breathe again. Hope to see you there.If not, we will attempt to whip those in attendance into a mindless frenzy and unleash them torches in hand into the countryside to hunt you down like Frankenstein and wag their fingers in your face... and tighten your neck screws. Speaking of neck screws, word has it that the Monster Creator himself, the Dr. Frankenstein of the Bootleggers and the Baptists--my dad--will be in attendance. By proxy, all I have ever done is his fault so here is your chance to speak what is left of your mind. Mary Shelly would be proud. BOctober 29, 02
Subject:PBU Sat. Supper Club, Uncle Roy Fri. 8th and Rail, R&D Bagel Halloween
Life imitates art imitates life imitating art. As All Halloweds Eve approaches the dead walk again. PBU rears its ugly head on an unsuspecting public at the Supper Club this Saturday night. Everything you hear about the band is true. I'm pregnant, Leroi is a KGB gas experiment tragedy, Becah is actually a Microsoft program, Peter is the real dental hygienist in the family, Roy is now doing cowboy action movies and Steve is a Calvin Klein pin up model. We decied to diversify our portfolio. Oh the horror. On Friday night Uncle Roy does his show at the 8th and Rail in the legendarily corrupt town of Opelika where they used to tell you to duck when you rode through on a train. They now just train ducks as far as I can tell. It will be, no qiestion, a life altering experience and if not...maybe you weren't trying hard enough. If his wunderkind son, Jonas, is on the menu playing sax you ought to check it out just so you will know that the newest generation are actually not all going to hell in a handcart and that no matter what gene pool you come form there is always hope. Gimme a bada boom on the snare there Roy. On Halloween itself Leroi and I will be playing at (drum roll please) the Bagel with a group we term the Men (Guys) From R and D. We have been jamming as of late with a few folks and will split sets with Virgil Otis which contains a few of the same members, i.e., Jody Nelson (unquestionably the busiest player in town and obviously from a superior gene pool to my own), Jay Knorr (who as an 8th grader snuck in to see Mr. Resistor play at Opelika High which begs the question, "When do you outgrow this stuff?) and Adam Buchanon. It probably won't change your life but it may effect your hearing. Anyway, few new tunes, few covers, guitar histronics, death, taxes, the usual. For anyone interested in finding out about memorial services and the like regarding Chris Hinds please write me back. At 2:00 on Sunday there will be one aty the Methodist Church in Auburn but there are a few other things lined up if you're so inclined. I wonder where he is tonight. Hope some of you can make it out. BOctober 23, 02
Subject:Ale House Sat. Oct 26, Uncle Roy Buffalo Connection 10-24
Dear Ones, The dedicated and highly skilled members of the War Eagle Love Cult, formerly known as PBU, will be dusting off and unveiling their three to five chord wonderments at the Auburn Ale House Saturday. This has, of course, been voted as the epicenter of the Rock and Roll Experience five years running by the readers of both U. S. World Report and Better Homes and Gardens as well as being George W. Bush's favorite hangout when he's done polishing his guns or just plain acting goofy around the White House. Though my old and dear friend Mike Klein offered me a chance for some tickets to see the Stones at Turner Field on this same night I am pretty sure that Keith Richards wil be skipping that gig to come to the Ale House and learn a thing or two about a thing or two. Oh the horror. Furthermore, on Thursday the Uncle Roy Show featuring the comedic stylings of Tense and Nervous will be at the Buffalo Connection on Thursday evening beginning about 7:30. Both Roy and T&S have put aside their patriotic duty of trying to help Damon Duval get a decent night of sleep without recurring visions of attempted feild goals drilling his long snapper in the butt to perform at the Connection so I think the least one can do would be to attend. The price is right. Well, frankly it is a bit tough typing with this 12 gauge in my mouth as I grapple with the sad fact that this is the first Stones Tour I will miss since the Some Girls tour in 1978 so I guess I'll wrap this particular dispatch up in short order. I want to be like Mike (Vick). B
